
i left for church today hopeful, thinking maybe when i reach church, id feel much better, id feel like my burdens will be lifted..
well i was so wrong. i started crying even before service started and made a really bad first impression i suppose...
and i left feeling worse. feeling so much worse...
but i know ive just got to go on.. i just got to keep walking.. as much as it hurts, as much as it cuts... my legs and my heart just has to keep moving....
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and joe, u know what, i may smile and all, but im actually really sad throughout the week, but you were the only person that made my week bright and happy...and i thank you so much for that.
Thanks for the lovely rooftop place u brought me to, it made me feel there are other pretty things in life.. thanks for the movie, thanks for just being there. thanks for not getting angry when im late, thanks for sending/driving me home, thanks for the music, which really perked me up, thanks for your time, thanks for appreciating me the way i am, thanks for everything.
You may not know my problems, you may not know im sad.. but u really helped me go through the week...
thanks again so so much.

*hugs*
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and now as i cry... i dont know how im going to wake up tomorrow smiling... i dont know how am i going to keep walking, i dont know how im going to force another smile... but i know ive got to find a way somehow...
God please pick me up. i know you still love me no matter what. and it doesnt matter what other people say.. i know u love me. and i guess thats that.
Adieu 10:04 PM***